Breaking Through

Yeah, akala ko si Kat lang ang tanga. But here I am, on the same spot where she used to be, the only difference is that ours doesnt have any CONFIRMATION yet. Get it? Got it? Parang kami na hindi naman. Ayoko ng mag ASSUME. Lets call this secret lover of mine SUPER.

We met through YM. So yeah, weve shared some stories, it so happened that Super once worked for the company where I am working right now, so ayon may napag usapan kami and the conversation went smooth. Weve exchanged numbers / fb accounts after.

Ive added his FB account and was SHOCKED to see pictures of Super with someone else. Sweet nila hehe. So yeah, I got jealous. Jealous na di naman tama. We just chatted that day so ano naman dapat ko ikaselos. Anyway, I asked Super about the photos and SADLY sila nga, never nya di-neny and never did Super lie about their relationship’s status.

After a few, Ive logged out na and prepared for work. Cant help thinking about Super hanggang sa office… Ive waited for days para maka chat sya, I never turned my PC off but he never went online. So I was really pissed and really felt STUPID. Stupid for liking someone who’s in a relationship to the point na gusto ko makisawsaw - THIRD WHEEL. STUPID kasi I felt something for Super even though di ko alam if mutual ba yung feelings namin for each other.

Days passed, nagparamdam na rin sya at last.
This time he wanted to see me. So we met knowing that Super and that someone on the photo are still MAG-ON, dito sya sa bahay for 2 days. I feel happy when Super’s around, we cooked food, shared the same glass. Tabi kami matulog, we had some intimate moment but at the same time di ako TINANTANAN ng WORRIES. Worries that after our days together di naman pala nya ko gusto, sa 2 days namin magkasama I was JEALOUS. FUCKING JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS over the one who OWNS Super. Never did Super say his feelings for me.

Wish I could get over Super or at least malaman ko where I stand. I might get hurt.

If you come across an angel
tell him that he has my heart
and I’m breakin’ down without him
ever since we’ve been apart
if you come acoss an angel
more beautiful than anything you’ve seen
will you bring him back to me? please?

Ok.
So I was in SM North EDSA - the block a while ago.
Super excited bumili ng BAGONG BAGONG ALBUM ni KYLA my love.
Sobrang disappointed ako. Galing akong ODYSSEY (sorry sa spelling), WALA SA STAND NG NEW RELEASES YUNG ALBUM!
Nandon yung kay NINA, Regine and other various artist. Duh?!
Yung kay KYLA wala, then I asked for a copy of her album, they told me that the album was PULLED OUT.
So anong ibig sabihin non?!
Haay… THE BLOCK na yung pinuntahan ko ha, at ganon pa, pano na lang sa mga maliliit na mall?!
Then punta kong TRINOMA. sawakas sa Landmark meron. At nagiisa na lang, buti naman.
The album is sooo sayang, ang ganda ganda ng mga songs, super classy pero di man lang mapromote ng
ENGRANDE! HAAAAY!!!! EMI!!! GISING!
KYLA has lots of fans out there, pero yung way ng pag promote errr.
One more thing! Trinoma Mall tour, err, ang boring ng stage! Wala ng ka effort effort!
Duh?! Kurtina?! NAMAN!
And lastly… Music Video! Ilang buwan na bang out in the market ang H2H, hanggang ngayon wala pa kong napapanood na MV.
Tsk tsk tsk. NAMAN! EMI wake up!

it goes like this…

hi! I miss you! Been waiting for your call…

He said… Really? Alright? (Checking on some FS photos).  Hey, you know what…

Yeah? What is it?

(Took a deep breath) I finally told him that its over… I mean, Im leaving. Im gonna leave all the heartache in this place. New life. New love probably…

I thought…  How come he did not tell me this. How come I only knew now? Who is he? 

I felt like time stood still. I felt numb… I felt like crying, but tears just wont fall down my stupid eyes. I smiled, and asked…

Am I not the one…?

then he replied… no. Im sorry.

Then I knew…

Good thing, its just a dream. But everytime I feel things like this, it comes

true… I hate this… I dont wanna loose you… I need you… I want you… I love you… But, I dont know… Just let me cry for sometime… :’[

hi guys. this is my second post. so yeah, took me that long to finally write another post. anyway.

Let me tell you a story.

Last Sunday, 10/05/08. Me and my friends went to market! Yeah, you heard me right. “MARKET”.

Goodbye MALL days. Goodbye happy “PETIKS” moments. Its time to meet the real world. So how did we come up with this “visit the market plan?”. Me and Kat (friend) just thought that it would be much convinient and practical to cook our own food instead of buying or eating somewhere else. Do you guys agree?

So, on to our market adventure…

We bought our very own stove, kitchen utensils, food for dinner (chiken and pinoy style spaghetti ingridients) , bigas na saksakan ng mahal (*laughs), egg and condiments.

May I tell you, the place stinks, its “MAPUTIK”, “MABAHO”, “MADULAS”.

Yeah, actually I hate the experience. Unfortunetly lagi na namin gagawin yun. Why? Because we folks are independent now. No parents or yaya to help us with our duties, one time i remember, I washed by clothes, after washing, ang sakit ng likod at ang kamay ko infairness nagsugat. I have to get use to it.

So back to the story, after buying, we head straight to home, John (another friend) prepared the food, which was terribly good (*laughs)! Kat washed the dishes and I, cleaned my room. (haha lugi sila*). Anyway, after that exhausting day, the palengke thinggy ,laba, linis and all, we get the chance to eat!

Pretty rewarding right?

*Lesson learned. Next time go to SM supermarket. Kidding! XD

Im working at Convergys right now. 4 months na rin.
I have my own PC and net, phone, new clothes and stuff, everything Ive always wished for.
I party everywhere, eat wherever I want.

Life’s cool, no retrictions, lahat pwede. Cool ayt?
I live with myself. ALONE.

Akala ko masaya.
Yes, first few weeks, but habang tumatagal hindi na.
I miss my family, my mama and my papa and my siter.
Before, we live on a small house, somewhere in Bataan.
I remember papa, he never forgets to cook my favorite SINIGANG.
Mama naman, laging nagpapabomba ng tubig kahit na hirap na hirap na ko.
My sister always scolds me, because Im lazy. Funny right? Coz Im older than her.
We eat, smile, laugh, cry together.
Now, its just ME.

Imiss you guys. wish you were here.